you must wade through a lot of shit

yet somehow you end up here.  what does that say about me?

Did you know that Chris Pine is one of GQ’s “Men of the Year”?

Yep he’s the “Breakout” man of the year or something.

Pretty cool huh? I think so.

Consequently, I’ve been getting a lot more “hits” recently…you know, because I talk about Chris Pine sooooo much. (actually I have talked about him quite a bit recently….this will be my 4th post to date.  So that kinda is a lot, so maybe this is all my fault)

Still, I think it’s funny.  So I went and googled “chris pine” to see where I come up in the list. I got to page 6 and I was literally NOWHERE to be found. then I got bored and gave up.

Which brought me to my assumption…you weirdos (whom I love dearly) who end up here must all be creepy mouth breathers who are sitting at home in your underwear eating cheese puffs if you have the time to make it past page 6 in the google results.

Seriously! Get a life! Go outside!  Get a tan! and for the sake of Science, take a shower!

Actually, never mind.  Pass the Cheetos.

 

 

dear science, tell me it isn’t true! UPDATED

This is top news on Yahoo! right now.

and I use the word “top” very loosely.

Waffles.

Fucking. Waffles.

UPDATE: the bloggess also posted about this…because I emailed it to her.  that’s right bitches, be jealous. Me and Jenny The Bloggess…we’re friends.  And by “friends” I’m sure she means the heartwarming hallmark channel kind, not the backstabbing lifetime movie kind.

one bad episode of elimidate away from taking vows

So you know how in The Sound of Music Julie Andrews starts out as a nun and then becomes a teacher and falls in love and leaves the convent for good? Well I’m about to do the opposite. 

My romantic problems can, for the most part, be summed up into the following three bullet points:

• I want what I can’t have
• I don’t want what I can have
• I definitely don’t want your brother

I feel the first one is obvious.  There are 3 people who I know, in all of existence who I honestly *want*.  Those 3 people are all unavailable for various reasons.

The second one…not as obvious.  It’s not that I want someone, get them, and then don’t want them anymore (that would just make me fickle).  It’s just there are people who I don’t really want to begin with but, in efforts to keep an open mind and give people a chance (because some lamewad douchecanoe said that people *surprise* you), I go out with them.  I then end up underwhelmed and bored. 

I know what I want. I don’t know why I settle for less.

and the third? yea, I DON’T WANT TO DATE YOUR BROTHER*.  Just setting the record straight on that one. 

really, this whole dating thing, yea, that’s just something that I go through for appearances.  All this open mindedness is just my way of going out with people who I don’t care about periodically while I wait for one of the 3 to break up with their whore, re-enter the country, or grow a pair. 

*unless he’s hot.  then I’ll totally date** your brother.

**you know I don’t mean “date” in the purest sense, right?

nothing says thanksgiving like this

These posters and billboards are all over the city.

Seriously though, who wants to go see “Ninja Assassin” on Thanksgiving…?? what’s next? Saw 17 coming out on Christmas? maybe they’ll make it into a musical…

Can you spot the *main* thing wrong with this picture?

 

That’s right, the Bella/Kristen Stewart doll has a pleasant look on her face.

Talk about false advertising, Matel.

Seriously though, who was the fact checker/authenticity supervisor on this thing?

And don’t even get me started on the Edward doll…bleh (though it is slightly more attractive than the *real* Robert Pattinson)

homewrecker

so…I totally want to be a homewrecker.

I’ve been one before…accidentaly.  I SWEAR I didn’t know they were already on shakey ground…

I. Swear.

I’ve never actively and intentionally homewrecked…

But I totally want to. 

You see, there’s this guy…Jack…I know Jack wants me…but I also know that Jack has a girlfriend…more things I know? I know Jack is too nice of a guy to actually cheat (and I wouldn’t want him too) and I know that for the most part he’s happy in his relationship…

But you know what else I know?… I don’t want a relationship.  I just want to have fun with Little Jack…

Can I destroy someone’s happiness for a few hours of fun once a week? Short answer: No.

so obviously I can’t/wont do anything…but I sooooo want to.

Shit.

Having a conscience really blows sometimes.

why being smart and creative isn’t necessarily something you should advertise

Apparently, when you work for a small place that’s owned by 2 Frugal Fannies you should never, and I mean NEVER, let it get out that you know anything about marketing, advertising, or writing.  Just. Lie.

Do you want to know what happens if you don’t lie?  I’ll tell you.

They will spend hours trying to work out a “trade” with you…like this, “soooo, if you help us and redesign our entire website we’ll give you a free scoop of ice cream every day for a month.”  Seriously.

Oh, here’s another one, “can you re-write our entire menu descriptions so that they sound exotic and exciting and in exchange we’ll let you buy our retail merchandise at cost.”  No. Joke.

While they’re at it, they’ll decide that they’ll just pay you your low hourly wage to redesign some pamphlets and then decide not to use them, but a month later they’ll pull it out and move a margin over by half an inch and unveil it as “their” creation.

So, yea, just keep the shit you’re good at under wraps until you can find someone who will actually pay you for your work and creativity.  And by “pay” I don’t mean in miniature gummi bears.

the kink in my Dragonette plan…

so…somehow I managed to break my laptop. boo.

I also managed to break it in such a new and exciting way, that the computer people at Best Buy couldn’t diagnose it for under $200.

On the bright side I got a new computer.

On the cloudy side, the pictures and shizzle for my next two posts are on the old broken computer.

On the stormy tornado-ie side, I’m too lazy to find a way to recover them, so my Dragonette themed posts are delayed.

Dragonette Part 2

okie dokie, now here is some music from their new album for you to enjoy…or ignore…hopefully you enjoy it.

The first one is their title track, Fixin’ To Thrill:

This next one is Pick Up The Phone:

And then this is my favorite so far..Come One Be Good:

Dragonette part 1

So, I know I said at one point that I want to talk about Dragonette’s new album…but here’s the thing: I think I need to educate you on Dragonette in general.

And that’s not something that can be easily done.  It’s a multi-step process.

Here’s what I’m gonna do; I’m going to remind you of their first album (which you should already have, but I doubt you do), I’ll introduce you to their new album, and then I’ll discuss how awesome they are live.  So we have at least 3 posts that will be dedicated to Dragonette alone.  So you might want to just not stop by for a week or so if your a non-music-lover.

so here’s part 1- a few songs off of their first album, also known as “my favorite”.

Song #1 – the first song that I fell in love with or ever heard for that matter – Take It Like A Man

Song #2 – I Get Around – probably my third favorite song

Song #3 – Jesus Doesn’t Love Me – my second and sometimes first (depending on my mood) favorite song…I actually think I’ve posted this one before

Well, there you have my top 3 favorite songs off of their first album, Galore.  Though, it’s not really fair to pick favorites because I love the entire album.  There’s not one song on there that I don’t like.  It’s also the first album I’ve ever purchased where I never skip songs.

When I first bought Galore a couple years ago you couldn’t get it in America.  I had to order it on Amazon and I think it came from the UK somewhere.  I don’t really remember…but I do know this, I stayed in my car’s CD player for at least 6 months without ever being taken out.  I also had a, what I call, “house copy” that was in my bedroom BOSE and would play when my alarm went off every morning.

Next, I’ll give you a few songs off of their new album, Fixin’ to Thrill….

I can tell you can’t wait.

(and in case you haven’t figured out, I’m not really going to write a whole lot about them…other than that I love them and you should love them too.  Just listen.  I think their music speaks for itself)